| I think I have mad cow disease.
Tony, you shouldn't be so demanding. I'm coming to visit you this week, so you better be nice to me.
I had starburt jellybeans for breakfast again today.
There's a Bush song that says "I'm never alone, I'm alone all the time". And it's true. I'm never alone. Yesterday I was left alone in the evening and I started hating it after 20 minutes, so I started calling all my friends, just because I felt lonely. Why do I always have to be with people? It's hard for me to just sit at home and relax by myself. I have to be either really busy or with someone. And yet, I'm alone all the time. See, most people think they know me, but inside me is another world that most people wouldn't guess is there unless they truly looked into my eyes. At a glance, I'm sure people come up with their conclusions of who I am and what I'm about, but they're all probably wrong. Unless you've had a chance to get into my brain and my heart (I consist of much more heart than brain), you don't know me, and thus, I am alone all the time. It's a lonely thing to be misunderstood. But what's even worse, and what makes me feel even more alone, is that I don't even know myself fully. Only my Creator knows me fully, and every day He introduces me to myself, more and more. If I could only understand myself completely, I know I could handle others not understanding me. Because I would know why I'm here, what I'm about, what I believe, what I want, what I hate, what I live for, and I wouldn't care what anyone else thought, and I would be at peace. But it sucks when I'm here second guessing myself, knowing that if I don't know myself, how can anybody else know me? Different people know different fragments of who I am, but not one person knows every fragment. I wish someone did. |
